“I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams.”
Since then, she’s been very open about her grief. A few months ago, she shared, “When I’m old and grey, I will look back on the last two months as being brutal, exhausting, sad, physically challenging, [and] mentally painful bitches of a couple months.”
She’s also explained that her lingering baby bump is a frustrating reminder of “what could have been.”
And last night, the 35-year-old shared another emotional message. She posted some pictures from the shoot in Mexico, where she and husband John Legend filmed his “Wild” music video that announced her pregnancy.
After sharing that the baby would have been here any day now, she said, “I am so full of regret that I didn’t look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse.”
She called this month a “tough reminder” and said, “I thought the worst was over, but I guess life and emotions aren’t on any sort of schedule.”
“I love you, Jack. I miss you so, so much,” she concluded.
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